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Wednesday, April 27, 2016

It was all extra meh, but here's more meh

Had a week of super extra meh, and really didn't want to do anything other than read something trashy, and re-watch old Stargate episodes. Also, I was up to Avengers #4, and it's totally super extra meh.
I'm not even going to bother going back to volumes 1-3 in order to review them. NOT EVEN FOR YOU! I'll catch you up though......

The O.G. line-up of the Avengers was Captain America, Iron Man, Thor, Hulk, and Giant Man. And his girlfriend/ assistant/ sidekick The Wasp, I'll get to the ugh of that later.

Iron man ran off to have his own book. He gets mentioned occasionally, and at least his super good special friend Tony Stark is still bankrolling the whole thing. Which is good, because things get destroyed a lot. Thor also ran off to have his own book. He sends some friends and villains by occasionally. The Enchantress for example. In this volume she tries to trick Hercules into taking on the Avengers, except honor and a freaking sulphur arrow (!) shut it all down. Hulk was barely around to start with, then threw some big tantrums and ran off (to have his own book). He's busy running around the desert, pining after the daughter of the General who wants to annihilate him, and kidnapping poor Dr Bruce Banner who has nothing to do with the Hulk, no connection whatsoever, totally.

Cap is still feeling sorry for himself. At least he's managing to still hang around to lead the Avengers while he has his own book. There's a lot of flashback and side adventures going on.


Then there is Hank Pym aka Giant man aka Ant Man aka Colossus aka do I even care at this point? Hank was off doing super serious and important scientific research for a while. He rejoined when he managed to frak things up, and get stuck at 12 feet tall. And sulked a lot. But then he scienced stuff, and yay, he's back again. He got some fancy new duds, and a new name, but he's still the same condescending, chauvinist pig he always was. The way he speaks to Janet Van Dyne is super gross. 
PLUS, putting my feminist on, why does she only get to shrink? Is it too unfeminine to let her be a giant too? Why does she have wings, but he doesn't? And the name, the wasp! Seriously! How often have you heard women being insulted by calling them waspish.Plus she spends a lot of time being superficial and self-defeating. UGH. Holy Hannah, Stan Lee. She's a freaking superhero.  Let her be freaking super.




Meanwhile, since half the roster has run away to make more money for Marvel, they've started to fill the ranks with ex-villains. Wanda and Pietro Maximoff were finally able to ditch Magneto, and the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants, and follow their hearts to be heroes.
A big part of vol 4 is about them having to go home in order to get their powers rebooted. Only to discover that their home town has been invaded by an evil alien! Mwahahaha! Said alien wants to steal everones powers so that he can go back home and win a pointless war. Pointless because there is nobody left on either side but frigging robots!

There's also Hawkeye. Oh, Hawkeye. Thank all the gods that you get a costume upgrade. And a personality upgrade. This is cool. This is badass.

This is not. Plus he doesn't even bother to coordinate his quiver with his outfit, Red and yellow? With the purple? Oh Hawkeye. Originally he appeared as an Iron Man villain. A super sexy soviet spy named Natasha aka the Black Widow seduced him into it. He didn't do a very good job at it, and ends up becoming a hero instead. He's still pining over Natasha, but luckily she was brainwashed into the whole thing. So it's okay! Except...... Colonel Fury convinces her to become a double agent for SHIELD, leaving Hawkeye in confusion and despair, thinking that she's gone back to her old ways. We'll just have to see where this goes.

The rest of the volume is taken up by FF villain the Mad Thinker, who has created super hats, and super gloves and shit for his minions, in order to take out the avengers, in order to take out the Fantastic Four. Yep. That's the plot.

Luckily, Hercules has been hanging around (and in Thor's old room, cos, you know, gods), and he is the one thing that The Thinker didn't think of. Also lucky he's around, as Cap (away on a side adventure being mind controlled by Nazi dude in a mask the Red Skull) managed to drop the super powerful Cosmic Cube into the ocean where the freaking Sub-Mariner could find it. Having his usual tantrum, he decides to try and destroy all the submarines he can find. Cos he can. 
Lots of sound effects later, Hercules and Sub-Mariner kind of call it a draw. The cube, of course, gets lost in the confusion. But I foresee further plot.....

I think that's it. Cap should be back at Avengers HQ soon, and he and Hawkeye can sulk together.

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