Nailbiter - even better the second time around!

I decided to re-read the first three TPB's of  Joshua Williamson and Mike Henderson's Nailbiter so that it would be fresh in my mind for volume 4. I'm really glad I did. I actually decided to upgrade my original Goodreads ratings. It's clever, scary, funny, layered, and holds up to multiple readings. The artwork is fab. It's clean, almost spare lines in many places, and beautifully, almost cinematically framed. The colour palette is subdued for the most part, letting the blue, blue eyes of some characters, and the violetnt red of blood spatter to leap off the page. I especially love the TPB covers. Simple, but powerful. Creepy enough that I wouldn't be comfortable with it up on my wall.

Volume 1: There will be blood. Oh, yes there will!

Serial killers are clearly a fascination for a lot of people. The sheer number of procedurals on tv, as well as shows like Dexter, The Fall, The Following, prove that there is a rabid audience for all the guts and gore that people can come up with. And WIlliamson is not going to stint on the guts or the gore.

Nailbiter is set in smalltown USA. Normal in everyway, except for the fact that it happens to be the birthplace of sixteen different serial killers. SIXTEEN!

There are a lot of people obsessed with the how's and why's of the 'Buckaroo Butchers', as they are collectively known, and they're pretty fascinating. The Book Burner torched libraries because he was bullied as he couldn't read. The Terrible Two were fraternal twins who targeted other sets of twins. The Blonde would wait until guys catcalled her on the street, then kidnap them and sew their mouths shut. The big gun, however, the headliner, is #16, The Nailbiter

Having been found not-guilty at his trial, Edward Charles "the Nailbiter" Warren has decided to move back home to Buckaroo, where his ex-girlfriend just happens to be Sheriff. Cue a slew of new murders, a creepy masked, machete-wielding mystery, and a crushing history where everybody in town is connected to at least one of the butchers. Cue Sheriff Shannon Crane having to deal with a town ready to string up her ex-bf, missing FBI investigator Eliott Carroll, and uh "special interrogator" Nicholas Finch on the hunt for Carroll. Cue the discovery of a secret underground labyrinth/ jail holding the mutilated Carroll, and it is just the beginning. You'll be as obsessed as everyone else.

Volume 2: Bloody Hands. 

Warning......spoilers are coming. To Be Continued.

It was all extra meh, but here's more meh

Had a week of super extra meh, and really didn't want to do anything other than read something trashy, and re-watch old Stargate episodes. Also, I was up to Avengers #4, and it's totally super extra meh.
I'm not even going to bother going back to volumes 1-3 in order to review them. NOT EVEN FOR YOU! I'll catch you up though......

The O.G. line-up of the Avengers was Captain America, Iron Man, Thor, Hulk, and Giant Man. And his girlfriend/ assistant/ sidekick The Wasp, I'll get to the ugh of that later.

Iron man ran off to have his own book. He gets mentioned occasionally, and at least his super good special friend Tony Stark is still bankrolling the whole thing. Which is good, because things get destroyed a lot. Thor also ran off to have his own book. He sends some friends and villains by occasionally. The Enchantress for example. In this volume she tries to trick Hercules into taking on the Avengers, except honor and a freaking sulphur arrow (!) shut it all down. Hulk was barely around to start with, then threw some big tantrums and ran off (to have his own book). He's busy running around the desert, pining after the daughter of the General who wants to annihilate him, and kidnapping poor Dr Bruce Banner who has nothing to do with the Hulk, no connection whatsoever, totally.

Cap is still feeling sorry for himself. At least he's managing to still hang around to lead the Avengers while he has his own book. There's a lot of flashback and side adventures going on.

Then there is Hank Pym aka Giant man aka Ant Man aka Colossus aka do I even care at this point? Hank was off doing super serious and important scientific research for a while. He rejoined when he managed to frak things up, and get stuck at 12 feet tall. And sulked a lot. But then he scienced stuff, and yay, he's back again. He got some fancy new duds, and a new name, but he's still the same condescending, chauvinist pig he always was. The way he speaks to Janet Van Dyne is super gross. 

PLUS, putting my feminist on, why does she only get to shrink? Is it too unfeminine to let her be a giant too? Why does she have wings, but he doesn't? And the name, the wasp! Seriously! How often have you heard women being insulted by calling them waspish.Plus she spends a lot of time being superficial and self-defeating. UGH. Holy Hannah, Stan Lee. She's a freaking superhero.  Let her be freaking super.

Meanwhile, since half the roster has run away to make more money for Marvel, they've started to fill the ranks with ex-villains. Wanda and Pietro Maximoff were finally able to ditch Magneto, and the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants, and follow their hearts to be heroes.
A big part of vol 4 is about them having to go home in order to get their powers rebooted. Only to discover that their home town has been invaded by an evil alien! Mwahahaha! Said alien wants to steal everones powers so that he can go back home and win a pointless war. Pointless because there is nobody left on either side but frigging robots!

There's also Hawkeye. Oh, Hawkeye. Thank all the gods that you get a costume upgrade. And a personality upgrade. This is cool. This is badass.

. 

. 

This is not. Plus he doesn't even bother to coordinate his quiver with his outfit, Red and yellow? With the purple? Oh Hawkeye. Originally he appeared as an Iron Man villain. A super sexy soviet spy named Natasha aka the Black Widow seduced him into it. He didn't do a very good job at it, and ends up becoming a hero instead. He's still pining over Natasha, but luckily she was brainwashed into the whole thing. So it's okay! Except...... Colonel Fury convinces her to become a double agent for SHIELD, leaving Hawkeye in confusion and despair, thinking that she's gone back to her old ways. We'll just have to see where this goes.

The rest of the volume is taken up by FF villain the Mad Thinker, who has created super hats, and super gloves and shit for his minions, in order to take out the avengers, in order to take out the Fantastic Four. Yep. That's the plot.

Luckily, Hercules has been hanging around (and in Thor's old room, cos, you know, gods), and he is the one thing that The Thinker didn't think of. Also lucky he's around, as Cap (away on a side adventure being mind controlled by Nazi dude in a mask the Red Skull) managed to drop the super powerful Cosmic Cube into the ocean where the freaking Sub-Mariner could find it. Having his usual tantrum, he decides to try and destroy all the submarines he can find. Cos he can. 

Lots of sound effects later, Hercules and Sub-Mariner kind of call it a draw. The cube, of course, gets lost in the confusion. But I foresee further plot.....

I think that's it. Cap should be back at Avengers HQ soon, and he and Hawkeye can sulk together.

The do's and don't's and just don't's of DC's New 52 part 1

Not that long ago (as in, I'm still dealing with it) I developed a weird series of food allergies which had a kind of strange and difficult side effect. Not being able to eat about 2/3 of the food meant that my body was lacking in a lot of the necessary precursors to essential neurotransmitters. For example: not being able to eat foods with Tryptophan means not being able to make enough Seratonin, means losing about 76% of ones capacity for concentration and memory, or to connect information in your brain, or, you know, be happy. So, my brain was working at maybe 40-50% of normal. And it sucked. Big time. BIG TIME. I went from teachers pet, to epic fail.

Long story short, reading DC's New 52 was my brain rehab. I may have had to keep multiple lists, and I may have had to have a high- lighter keys just to remember what was going one, but with a lot of sheer stubbornness, I managed. DC release 52 titles at a time (hence the "new 52"), but they did it not only waves, but families (batman, superman, green lantern, justice league, young justice, the edge, and the dark). And within the families, there were major cross-overs. I truly believe that forcing my way through all seven waves, and all seven families helped re-forge pathways in my brain. I mean, this time last year, I was a LOT more lacking in cohesion and concentration. 

To be honest, not all the titles were worth reading. They go from 1 star to 5 star ratings from me, and the higher ratings are pretty rare.

I'll add a link to every wave, and eventually, my own obsessive-compulsive goodreads "family" lists, before I begin my reviews. They go from the beginning, up to Futures End/ Convergence, purely because the latest titles are mostly not collected into trade paper-backs.

Here goes. Waves:

https://www.goodreads.com/list/show/23618.The_New_52

https://www.goodreads.com/list/show/28286.DC_Comics_New_52_Collected_Editions_Miniseries_and_Maxiseries

https://www.goodreads.com/list/show/87870.DC_Comics_New_52_Collected_Editions_Wave_7

https://www.goodreads.com/list/show/79203.DC_Comics_New_52_Collected_Editions_Wave_5_and_6

https://www.goodreads.com/list/show/46926.DC_Comics_New_52_Collected_Editions_Wave_4

https://www.goodreads.com/list/show/41915.DC_Comics_New_52_Collected_Editions_Volume_3

https://www.goodreads.com/list/show/28282.DC_Comics_New_52_Collected_Editions_Volume_2

https://www.goodreads.com/list/show/24662.DC_Comics_New_52_Collected_Editions_Volume_1#13223349

I'll break it down into the readable, the not readable, and the throw against the wall or in the bin once we get to the "families". First up.......Bat-Family!

Addendum: Learn how to make links properly!

I LOVE I HATE FAIRYLAND

What the MUFFIN HUGGIN',  FLUFFED out piece of surrealistic, psychedelic SPELL did I just read! And may I have some more, please. With cherries on top? If this comic was a drug, it would be LSD mixed with red cordial and speed. Meet Gertrude, her wish came true and she ended up in Fairyland.

Big mistake Gertie. Apparently all she needs to do is find one little key to one little door to find her way home. Simple, easy, right? I mean it's fairyland! It Queen Cloudia with hair like a cumulus (except when she's like, seriously pissed off, and then its more like a cumulonimbus). It has towns made out of pillows, or lakes filled by giant snot-monsters. It is a mind-FLUFF of a place that never stops, never shuts down, never shuts up, and sweet little Gert has been stuck there for 27 years. In the sugar-raged out body of her 8 year old self. Cue fun and games and GORE! He he he!

Everything that any self respecting Goth-girl ever loved about Lenore or Ruby Gloom is right here. The ridiculous depraved cuteness of Jhonan Vasquez SLG Johnny the Homicidal Maniac, the sly subversive humor Lisa Myhre's Nemi, the marketing possibilities of Emily the Strange, yep. All of that. And so much more.

We all know that I love a meta-narrative, and not only is Gert TOTALLY aware of genre conventions,

there are also fourth wall breaks that Deadpool would be proud of. 

 And the narrators have the life span of a Spinal Tap drummer! (Watching Narrator #4 realise exactly whose story he's gotten stuck narrating is freaking brilliant! Poor, guy. He was just trying to do his job and support his family.)

I love I hate Fairyland as much as Gertie actually hates Fairyland. Which is a FLUFFIN' lot. Skottie Young is now on my auto-buy list. I'm talking ten out of MUFFIN FLUFFIN' ten. And this would be even without his collaboration with Neil Gaiman on Fortunately the Milk, aka the best children's book ever FLUFFIN' written. Seriously, time travelling dinosaur scientists, and volcano gods, and pirates, and everything. I will now proceed to read all of his Oz books. Be right back.

The Meh of Marvel Masterworks Part 3

The Sub-mariner; he of the sassy pants, and sassy eyebrows.

Meet Prince Namor, the Sub-Mariner, Lord of Atlantis, ruler and protector of the seven seas. Oh, wait. No, sorry. This is Aquaman, the OTHER Lord of Atlantis, ruler and protector of the seven seas.

This is Sub-mariner. Please note the eyebrows.

At some point in the earliest days of Marvel, Mr sparkly-pants was actually one of the most popular characters that were around. Hard to believe, but the internet says it, so it must be true. Super strong, super fast, and supposedly super-sexy (ugh), he’s also totally super jerky. And kind of rapey, in a repressed 60’s kind of way. Namor has “never taken no for an answer’ (p. 127), and if he decides that you’re cute, he’s going to kidnap you and take you away to be his underwater Queen. I mean, you don’t get a choice about it, but at least he’s going to marry you all right and proper. Plus, maybe you’ll get a super sparkly outfit like his! His Silver Age appearances start in Fantastic Four #4, where Johnny Storm finds him living on the streets with no memory, and *sob* no sparkly green booty shorts.

He helps out a bit, comes on to Sue Storm a lot, and then tries to go all droit du seigneur and kidnap her to be his underwater Queen. Even though he’s actually lost his kingdom and entire race somewhere.

He's meant to be the anti-hero guy. You know, sometimes fighting with the good guys, sometimes against. Plus they try to blame his mixed blood for his idiotically short temper. Apparently the chemistry of Atlantean/ Human DNA is enough to turn him into a tantrumy toddler who can like, bend steel bars, and destroy whole cities, etc.Lots of blah, blah later, and he finds his people, and somehow somebody finds a reason for him to get his own series. Yay.

So, “masterwork” #32: The Sub-Mariner. I have a lot of questions.

The Atlanteans all seem to be blue, so why is Namor the only pink dude? RESEARCH! Ah, ha! Like some other underwater ruler we know, Namor is half Atlantean and half human. And even though there is a sickeningly large amount of emphasis on his blood right to be king, and the whole male primogeniture thing, it is his mother who was the Atlantean royal. During an attempted palace coup, the evil Warlord Kang (his actual title is warlord) tries to take over the palace, and, again super rapey, try to make Namor’s royal cousin Dorma marry him. Of course, she’s only into Namor, and spends a lot of time somehow crying big, fat, VISIBLE tears UNDER THE WATER! (and on that note, how do most of the atlanteans have these awesome flowy cloaks that do their flowy thing under water). Anyway, SM has to go off and fulfil quests that apparently only the true ruler can pass. Oooh, and once he does, he gets a super cool, totally phallic trident to prove how great he is.

Does Atlantis have any kind of system of governance in place? Who was in charge while he was off being amnesia guy? I mean, we know that they don’t have lawyers. Any crimes just get you shoved into a prison cell, or thrown into a trench for monsters to chew on. SM actually decided to sue the entire human race at one point, and goes off to find himself a human lawyer. Who happens to be Matt Murdock. Of course.

Seriously, what is the deal with the booty shorts? All the other Atlanteans have real clothes, including the aformentioned swishy cloaks that magically bend the rules of physics. So why does Namor only ever wear sassy, green sparkly and/ or scaly shorts? With a fancy gold belt with a big S on it of course. Does he just have, like a hundred pairs? Are they made out of fish skin? Who does his laundry? I mean, who does the laundry of any superhero????? I suppose Iron Man has a super fancy robot or something, and Spiderman probably has to handwash his, so that Aunt May doesn’t find out. And we know that Deadpool takes his stuff to the local laundry mat. There’s probably a niche market for drycleaners who can take care of this sort of thing.

Anyway. WHY DOES NAMOR HAVE TINY LITTLE WINGS ON HIS FEET! Despite that fact that he gets all his strength and power from water, he also can fly with these things.Which is illogical, and breaks physics. I mean, wouldn’t they get toally waterlogged? By the Watery Wand of Neptune, Why!

Really, why?

Final analysis, “Imperious Rex” all you want, I'm sticking with Jason Momoa.

(Oh, Holy Hannah, there’s another four volumes)

So....

This is totally my first blog, so I don't really know what I'm doing. I'd love commentary. If I'm doing okay, let me know. If it gets a little too theoretical, let me know. If there's a book I should add, let me know ☺️

I do refuse to read single issues, though. I'll only do trade paper backs, because I'm OCD, and a completist, and single issues make me frustrated. It's like eating a single chip! Or one single piece of chocolate!

I'm currently halfway through Red Thorn (wowsa!), and re-reading the first TPB of ODY-C in order to read the new one.

I'd love to hear from anyone with constructive criticism.
Thanks guys

Vertigo's Art Ops vol. 1: How to Start a Riot

Warning: contains pretentious intellectualism, gratuitous use of Georges Bataille, sarcasm, and slight spoilers.

What would happen if art were to come alive?

What if art wanted something more?

I've had a conversation with my favourite professor, and a theoretical, ideological argument with my favourite sister about the the idea that art can be violence. Said sister comes from the perspective that any and all actions can be considered art. I'll agree to a point, but only when the action/ moment/ image becomes separate from the every day action/ moment/ image by the acknowledgement of the observed and the observer of its separation. Once separate, it becomes imbued with symbolism, subjectivity, and the history, emotions, and psychological state of the artist as well as the viewer. Georges Bataille, French philosopher and something of a misogynist, wrote a pretty fabulous book on the idea of eroticism. In it he states that eroticism is born of breaking taboos and the separation, or dis-continuum of normality. It occurs when an individual (or two, three, or however many you choose) acts in a way that is not for survival, security, or stability, but in a way that is purely for pleasure and sensation, for satisfaction and satiation, and the violent, uncontrolled release of orgasm. In experiencing the moment and the stirring of emotion and sensation, there is a dis-continuum from the everyday self, and the connection to something beautiful and numinous. It's the difference between an act of animal reproduction, and one of sensuality, passion, and joy. 

It can also be what happens when an individual experiences art. It is powerful, evocative, filled with the moment, the experience, and as Bataille puts it the "transition from the normal state" to the "partial dissolution of the person" as they have been.

Art is powerful. Art is important. And in the hands of Shaun Simon and Mike Allred, art is alive and pretty pissed off.

Art Operations is a clandestine organisations whose job is to both protect and police works of art, and to protect the public from art that is too dangerous. Such as the portrait of a dude named Jack who escaped from his frame in Whitechapel in 1988. Of course. However, art has decided to fight back. Scarlett, a rather minor work, has escaped in order to create chaos, to demand independence and freedom, and she's willing to do anything to achieve it. Like try to kidnap the Mona Lisa, and turn the Statue of Liberty into a grotesque. And somehow take out the entire population of the Art Ops.

The only things standing in Scarlett's way, are Mona, a long-forgotten comic book character known as the body (There will be NO punching of world-famous works of art!), and the son of the now-missing head of Art Ops. Who after a tragic accident involving attack by graffiti, just so happens to part art himself. This is probably my favourite part of this book. The protagonist, Reggie, is clueless, cranky, with one foot in both worlds. He's liminal, stuck in between, neither on nor the other and pretty confused and pissed off about it. He's also in a state of constant conflict with himself.

He's also a bit of a dick. Which I love.

I'll give Art Ops a 7/10. Allred's artwork is great, and totally meta. The relationships between the characters, human and art alike are fascinating. I'm looking forward to finding out what is going on with the mysterious disappearance of the Art Ops. I want to see how Reggie copes with his dual self. And I am seriously excited by the final page reveal of Reggie's dad, Danny Doll! Who is he? What is he? Is he human? Art? Both? Is this why Reggie is the way he is? And how did the whole thing work between his parents. Vol. 2: Modern Love, is apparently going back to the beginning, and answering the questions about what happened between Danny Doll and Agent Regina Jones. 

Yes, Regina named her son Reginald. 

Go, Art Ops. Go Simon and Allred. Go Meta-narrative. Go crazy and hilarious moments like this one.....

(BTW, If you liked this one, You'll totally like Mike Carey's Unwritten)

Slightly Obsessive-Compulsive list part 2

Slightly Obsessive-Compulsive list part 2: New books I am super excited about.

The Goddamned
Unfollow
Suiciders
Red Thorn
Paper Girls (BKV, I love you)
Clean Room (Gail Simone, I love you)
Art Ops
Black Magick (Greg Rucka, you already know that I love you. Oderint Dum Metuant)

Slightly Obsessive-Compulsive List part 1

Slightly Obsessive-Compulsive List part 1: Stuff I have to re-read so that I can read the newly released and/or soon to be released new TPB.


East of West
Birthright
Chew
The Fade Out
Lumberjanes
Deadly Class
Nailbiter
Manhattan Projects
Rat Queens
Trees
Southern Bastards
Rumble
Wayward
Harrow County
Gotham by Midnight
The Woods
Harley Quinn
ODY-C
Colder
The Fuse
Black Science

The Meh of Marvel Masterworks pt 2: Captain America

Ok, Smilin' Stan, onto the rest of the avengers. Let's start with....Captain America.

The earliest issues were released as Tales of Suspense, and were a Captain America/ Iron Man double feature, which was a pretty good deal. Although there's a weird song that keeps playing in my head
(🎼 science fiction, double feature, ooh, ooh, ooh...see androids fighting, ooh, ooh, ooh🎼)

In the original incarnation, the Steve Rogers persona was the worst soldier in his platoon. Or maybe the entire army. His secret trips and constantly running off so that he can secretly put on his tights, as well as his strangely close relationship with a young teenage boy, leave everybody thinking that he's an incompetent idiot.

While Cap is off saving people, Steve is messing up royally by being missing. Plus he decides to fall madly in love with a girl whose name he never learns. Gag me.

Then he meets some Nazi dude who likes to run around in a red rubber mask (Red Skull). Said Nazi dude takes out Bucky, and turns Cap into Capsicle. So, Cap wakes up from a 20 year sleep in the ice, and to be honest, fearlessly sulks a lot.

His powers seem pretty undefined. The shield hasn't really gotten the backstory that makes it so interesting. Black panther and Wakanda have made a FF appearance or two, but there's no connection yet. He practices a lot of gymnastics, mopes about Baby Bucky and Mystery Girl, and threatens to leave the Avengers a lot. He even does for a while, getting a job as a sparring partner for some random boxer who never reappears. Of  course, his conscience, and moral superiority sends him back to Avengers HQ (kindly donated by Iron Man's "special friend" Tony Stark). Supervillains to defeat include Batroc the Leaper (super strong legs and ridiculous French accent),

 M.O.D.O.K. (A giant talking head), and Super-adaptoid (an android who can basically mimic any powered being). Plus, Cap soon discovers that *gasp* the rubber masked nazi Red Skull has survived, built giant robots to end the world, and brought Bucky Barnes back to life.
Except it's not actually Bucky. Its all a trick, No, Bucky..YET.

Also, remember Cap's nameless true-love? He soon discovers an IDENTICAL but much younger women to be his new true love. Except he hasn't learnt her name either, knowing her only as Agent 13 (it's totally Sharon Carter. If you've seen CA: Winter Soldier, she's the hot blonde neighbour/spy)
Oh, Cap.

That concludes volumes 1&2.

The Invisible Girl

The Meh of the Marvel Masterworks

So, for the last few months I've been reading the collected Marvel Masterworks. We're talking early 60's here. We're talking mass amounts of exposition, misogyny, terrible costumes, shudder-worthy scripts, sexual frustration, and the barest seeds of the characters we know and love.
I'm up to number 43 of 214, just over 20% through. To save you, I'll give you a rundown of what has happened so far....

Marvel Masterworks, Part One.

The Amazing Spider-Man: *sigh* I'm broke, and lying to everybody in my life. I wish people liked me. Like, anyone. Especially these gorgeous women who inexplicably hang around me all the time.
*sigh* and how many near death experiences can Aunt May really have?
*sigh* and how many of my friends and acquaintances are going to turn into supervillains?
Mary Jane Watson: like, cool, daddy-o

The IncredibleHulk
Hulk: I have a surprising large vocabulary for a giant monster. Oh, btw, I inexplicably kidnapped that unassuming, nobody scientist Bruce Banner and then let him go.
Bruce Banner: ....yeah, the hulk totally and inexplicably kidnapped me and then let me go, again.
Hulk: you know that I was only in the Avengers for, like, 6 issues, right? Why are you still following me?

Thor
Dr Donald Blake: I'm just going to go around this corner, and bang my stick on the ground.
*bang*
Thor: Dr Blake? Oh yeah, I just saw him.Do you like my hammer? It's shiny.
*sigh* being a tall, handsome, Norse god who is also a world class surgeon who can take as many super long holidays as he wants would be awesome if only my daddy would let me marry my nurse Jane. She faints a lot.
*sigh*
Loki: evil plan to defeat Thor, evil plan to defeat Thor, evil plan to make yellow spandex fashionable, more evil plans. Dang, why doesn't this work. Maybe I should turn into a gorgeous and talented British actor instead, so I can take over the world one fangirl at a time. Maybe without the yellow spandex.
Thor: *sigh*

The Fantastic Four

Jonny storm: I might be only, like, 12, but I know better than everybody else so I'm going to jump in and "flame on". Oooh, is that a chick?
The Thing: "it's clobbering time" because I can't control my temper I'm going to frak things up for everybody.
Mr Fantastic: because my brain is so superior to, like, everybody, I'm going to mess with amazingly unscientific science and risk the world and my team on a daily basis. Did I mention how smart I am?
Because I'm so so so so smart.
Sue Storm: I just want to set up housekeeping and worry about supermarkets instead of super-villains, because the super-villains keep ruining my beautiful designer dresses.